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Scripting Through Time: “The Horns of Nimon” Doctor Who Script

I’ve been a huge ‘Doctor Who’ fan since before I could drink and fu…. uh, err, ummm… I mean to say drink milk and have fun.  Yay!  Milk and fun. 

The Horns of Nimon (4)My first and favorite ‘Doctor Who?’  Why Tom Baker of course.  I’m not ashamed to admit that I used to go to ‘Doctor Who’ conventions when I was a kid.  Though I may not admit it on a first date – or a second, maybe third or tenth date.  Probably best to wait until after the wedding.  (Let’s just say that I’m very happy ‘Doctor Who’ has finally gone main stream.) 

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The Force of the First Draft of “The Star Wars” Script

The-Star-Wars-ComicAs any true Star Wars fan knows by now, George Lucas’s first draft of “Star Wars” was radically different than what we eventually saw on screen.  And I mean radically different!  I think it’s the perfect example of why you don’t shoot your first draft and serves as a lesson to all writers that the real writing begins with the rewrite.

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Shia LaBeouf Steals Homeless Man’s Bag

Shia LaBeouf tortured artist?  Plagiarist?  Lactose intolerant? Or just plain cruel human being? 

Shia Labeouf Homeless Man with Logo

In this first segment I like to call “Shia LaBeouf’s Bag of Shame,” well, the bag of shame goes to Shia LaBeouf.  News sources (don’t quote me) tell me that Shia LaBeouf apparently, most likely, allegedly, categorically, fundamentally, inconceivably, and most certainly doubtfully stole a homeless man’s paper bag to wear over his head on his red carpet walk at an international film festival in Berlin so that he could proclaim that he was “not famous anymore.’ 

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Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” Trailer

guardians-of-the-galaxy-logo1I’ll admit that I know very little about this property. 

WIKI ON…

“Guardians of the Galaxy is an upcoming American science fiction superhero film based on the Marvel Comics superhero team of the same name. It is produced by Marvel Studios and distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures. The film is intended to be the tenth installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The film is written and directed by James Gunn, with a story by Gunn and Nicole Perlman, and features an ensemble cast including Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Lee Pace, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan, Djimon Hounsou, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, and Benicio del Toro. In Guardians of the Galaxy, an American pilot named Peter Quill finds himself the object of a manhunt after stealing an orb coveted by the villainous Ronan. In order to evade Ronan, Quill is forced into an uneasy truce with a group of misfits including Gamora, Rocket, Drax the Destroyer and Groot. But when Quill discovers the true power of the orb and the menace it poses to the cosmos, he must rally his ragtag rivals for a last, desperate stand — with the galaxy’s fate in the balance.”

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“Say It Ain’t So” Comic Strip Pilot

Say It Aint So FinalHere is a Comic Strip that I developed years back.  It was a ‘test strip’ for a possible comic strip series.  For various reasons, I never pursued it beyond this one panel.  I wrote the ‘test strip’ while a very talented artistic friend (Sean McMenemy) did the art work.  I may consider revisiting it soon and making it a series on this site.

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Robocop 2014 Recipe Card Movie Review (with extra treats included)

Movie Rating: 2 Joes

Two Joe's

RoboCop 2014

Released February 12, 2014
Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy
PG-13


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Cook Time
1 hr 48 min

Cook Time
1 hr 48 min

Ingredients
  1. Stars: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Keaton,
  2. Abbie Cornish, Jay Baruchel, Jackie Earle Haley
  3. Written by: David Self
  4. Directed by: José Padilha
Instructions
  1. In the year 2028, after a tragic accident, a cop by the name of Alex Murphy is transformed into a cyborg by the evil corporation OmniCorp to protect the streets of Detroit.
  2. OmniCorp’s plan is to use RoboCop as a way to convince the public that machines would make better cops than people. But they just really want to make a lot of money and don’t really care about the people. In other words, they’re a corporation. And that’s RoboCop!
Notes
  1. It occurred to me after seeing RoboCop 2014 that it was like a bad dream I had after watching the 1987 version. In my dream, I’m watching ‘RoboCop 1987’ but my mind is warping and changing things in a nonsensical way. Some of the characters have the same names but yet are different people and although it’s the same story – it’s not. This isn’t a fun dream. It’s a scary dream and I’m struggling to wake up so I can watch the original movie that I enjoyed so much. And I might have wet my bed while I was sleeping. But we’ll save that discussion for another time.
  2. Joel Kinnaman plays RoboCop cyborg, Alex Murphy. He’s a capable actor, but looked greatly out of place here. Peter Weller owned the character in the original. Kinnaman does not. Weller wore a mask throughout most of the film and still he surged with emotions you could feel. Kinnaman’s face was shown throughout most of this film and his performance just came off as bland.
  3. Samuel (don’t confuse me with Laurence Fishburne) L. Jackson and Jay Baruchel had thankless roles and really had nothing to do. Michael Keaton was fine, but I keep wishing there is a better movie out there for him to star in. I miss Michael Keaton. And Gary Oldman … well, I hope they paid him well because he delivered, as always. He’s too good an actor for this remake.
  4. Abbie Cornish played Murphy’s wife, but I found myself not really caring about their relationship. Cornish did a fine job but because they showed so little of their relationship prior to the accident, I just didn’t find myself engaged. Wisely, they kept most of this to a minimum in the original – just enough to show us the anguish of losing his family without bogging down the plot.
  5. And for some reason, they reversed neutered the roll of Lewis, Murphy’s partner. She’s a man now. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) But it would have been nice to once again see a strong female in this role and view her interaction with Murphy. But like much of this film, Lewis was just another throwaway.
  6. So they took a very fun, memorable film from the 80’s and stripped it clean and sanitized it. RoboCop 2014 was not fun. A note to the filmmakers… A movie called ‘RoboCop’ is supposed to be fun! Oh, and speaking of fun, who the hell was the damn villain? Unlike the original, there was no disguisable bad guy. It just sort of alternated throughout. The dad from “That 70’s Show” – now that was a good memorable RoboCop villain.
  7. To sum up, toss in a small dab of 80’s, a spoon full of saltpeter, and a quart of black tar, crank the oven to 350 and two hours later you have RoboCop 2014. It’s kind of icky tasting. I don’t recommend it. So if you really want to see a RoboCop movie, I suggest that you subtract 27 from 2014 and see that film instead. You’ll have a better time.
Know It All Joe https://www.knowitalljoe.com/

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