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Robocop 2014 Recipe Card Movie Review (with extra treats included)

Movie Rating: 2 Joes

Two Joe's

RoboCop 2014

Released February 12, 2014
Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy
PG-13


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Cook Time
1 hr 48 min

Cook Time
1 hr 48 min

Ingredients
  1. Stars: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Keaton,
  2. Abbie Cornish, Jay Baruchel, Jackie Earle Haley
  3. Written by: David Self
  4. Directed by: José Padilha
Instructions
  1. In the year 2028, after a tragic accident, a cop by the name of Alex Murphy is transformed into a cyborg by the evil corporation OmniCorp to protect the streets of Detroit.
  2. OmniCorp’s plan is to use RoboCop as a way to convince the public that machines would make better cops than people. But they just really want to make a lot of money and don’t really care about the people. In other words, they’re a corporation. And that’s RoboCop!
Notes
  1. It occurred to me after seeing RoboCop 2014 that it was like a bad dream I had after watching the 1987 version. In my dream, I’m watching ‘RoboCop 1987’ but my mind is warping and changing things in a nonsensical way. Some of the characters have the same names but yet are different people and although it’s the same story – it’s not. This isn’t a fun dream. It’s a scary dream and I’m struggling to wake up so I can watch the original movie that I enjoyed so much. And I might have wet my bed while I was sleeping. But we’ll save that discussion for another time.
  2. Joel Kinnaman plays RoboCop cyborg, Alex Murphy. He’s a capable actor, but looked greatly out of place here. Peter Weller owned the character in the original. Kinnaman does not. Weller wore a mask throughout most of the film and still he surged with emotions you could feel. Kinnaman’s face was shown throughout most of this film and his performance just came off as bland.
  3. Samuel (don’t confuse me with Laurence Fishburne) L. Jackson and Jay Baruchel had thankless roles and really had nothing to do. Michael Keaton was fine, but I keep wishing there is a better movie out there for him to star in. I miss Michael Keaton. And Gary Oldman … well, I hope they paid him well because he delivered, as always. He’s too good an actor for this remake.
  4. Abbie Cornish played Murphy’s wife, but I found myself not really caring about their relationship. Cornish did a fine job but because they showed so little of their relationship prior to the accident, I just didn’t find myself engaged. Wisely, they kept most of this to a minimum in the original – just enough to show us the anguish of losing his family without bogging down the plot.
  5. And for some reason, they reversed neutered the roll of Lewis, Murphy’s partner. She’s a man now. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) But it would have been nice to once again see a strong female in this role and view her interaction with Murphy. But like much of this film, Lewis was just another throwaway.
  6. So they took a very fun, memorable film from the 80’s and stripped it clean and sanitized it. RoboCop 2014 was not fun. A note to the filmmakers… A movie called ‘RoboCop’ is supposed to be fun! Oh, and speaking of fun, who the hell was the damn villain? Unlike the original, there was no disguisable bad guy. It just sort of alternated throughout. The dad from “That 70’s Show” – now that was a good memorable RoboCop villain.
  7. To sum up, toss in a small dab of 80’s, a spoon full of saltpeter, and a quart of black tar, crank the oven to 350 and two hours later you have RoboCop 2014. It’s kind of icky tasting. I don’t recommend it. So if you really want to see a RoboCop movie, I suggest that you subtract 27 from 2014 and see that film instead. You’ll have a better time.
Know It All Joe http://www.knowitalljoe.com/

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“A Fantastic Fear of Everything” Recipe Card Movie Review

Movie Rating: 1 1/2 Joes

One and a Half Joe's

A Fantastic Fear of Everything

UK Release: Friday, June 8, 2012 –
US Release: Friday, February 7, 2014 Limited –
Comedy


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Total Time
1 hr 40 min

Total Time
1 hr 40 min

Ingredients
  1. Stars: Simon Pegg, Amara Karan, Clare Higgins, Alan Drake, Paul Freeman, Kerry Shale,
  2. Zaak Conway, Tuyet Le
  3. Directors: Crispian Mills, Chris Hopewell
  4. Writer: Crispian Mills (screenplay)
  5. Based on the novella “Paranoia in the Launderette” by Bruce Robinson
Instructions
  1. Jack (Simon Pegg) is a children’s author turned crime novelist whose detailed research into the lives of Victorian serial killers has turned him into a paranoid wreck, persecuted by the irrational fear of being murdered.
  2. When Jack is thrown a life-line by his long-suffering agent and a mysterious Hollywood executive takes a sudden and inexplicable interest in his script, what should be his ‘big break’ rapidly turns into his ‘big breakdown’, as Jack is forced to confront his worst demons; among them his love life, his laundry and the origin of all fear.
Notes
  1. A Fantastic Fear of Everything (a clunky and not really accurate title) is a dreary exercise in storytelling. Though it’s listed as a comedy, I would have mixed it into a separate category and named it ‘manically awkward.’ Simon Pegg plays a way too over-the top character (name Jack – points for originality) that is just so manic throughout much of the film that it’s just a bit hard to watch.
  2. We start the film at a place where Jack is already terribly on edge. He’s researching serial killers for a story he’s writing. We are supposed to believe that this is the reason he’s so fearful (because he psyched himself out?). He thinks someone is out to kill him though no real threat is presented at this point. Aside from that, the movie sets up his fear of Laundromats. I didn’t really buy into the psychological reasoning behind this either. If Jack’s erratic behavior was drug induced, then I might have more easily bought it.
  3. I think the film would have been better off showing us the build up to where it first starts off. Let us see Jack mentally fall apart. Let us see him develop this fantastic fear of everything (which is stretching it because he doesn’t have a fear of everything). Maybe then, we the audience might be able to relate to his journey. As for the ultimate resolution, I do see what the filmmakers were shooting for but didn’t really agree with its execution.
  4. The movie had an interesting concept, but if you peel that away, you’ll find that it doesn’t have a good enough story to pour into a full film. The fact that the main character is named ‘Jack’ just shows there is no real originality here. Even visually, it’s all been done before. Even the love interest introduced later in the film was formulaic. I will say this though – Simon Pegg definitely went balls to the wall and gave us everything he had to try and make it work. Too bad he didn’t have better material to work with.
  5. On the up side, thanks to this film, I now know how to do a load of laundry.
  6. Step 1: Open the Door. Step 2: Get the Clothes In. Step 3: Shut the Door. Step 4: Place the Money in the Slot. Step 5: Push Your Slot In. Step 6: Add Detergent
Know It All Joe http://www.knowitalljoe.com/

Side Note * I do realize this film played in the UK a year and a half ago.  I am only posting a review now because it has recently become available for digital release in the U.S and hits theaters for a limited run in a couple of weeks (February 7, 2014).

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Jailbird Bieber: Why This Makes Me Strangely Happy

This is the headline I awoke to early this morning on CNN’s site.

CNN Bieber Arrest Pic

Justin Bieber was arrested for DUI, resisting arrest, and driving with an expired license.  Apparently his street racing caught the eyes of the police.  I would think that the cops would know by now that racing isn’t nearly as much fun if you actually have a license and are completely sober.  I only do mine “in-the-gutter drunk.”

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It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! No, it’s the Adventures of Superman Script!

Adventures of Superman TitleOn September 19th, 1952 a little show premiered known by the name of “The Adventures of Superman.”  Who’s this Superman character you ask?  He’s just some guy flying around in his underwear fighting for truth, justice and the American way (because in the 50’s, that was the only way).  Lucky for us viewers, when the show eventually ended, we had “Captain Nice” to pick up the superhero mantle in the late 60’s.  (Check out the video below.  It’s worth the viewing!)

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Happy New Year 2014!

Hello friends and welcome to this site’s first post.  I’m Know It All Joe and I hope to bring something a little different, unique and hopefully entertaining to this crazy new site.  I will be covering a range of different topics, mostly with a humorous angle.   At times I may get a bit serious, but I’ll do my best to even keep that on the light side.  So turn your mind off and strap yourself in for this wild ride.  And I hope you enjoy “Know It All Joe.”

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